I didn’t post a lot on the blog in 2017, due to my burnout fatigue. I’m feeling a lot better now, and I want to come back to the blog. But the lesson I learned from my burnout this time is to be really clear in my mind about why I want to do things. So this post is about my why for blogging.

I’ve always been an avid reader. With all the reading, I tend to stumble upon new (to me) ideas often, or things that make my own thoughts start new journeys. “Wow! I wonder if this could apply to my life? How is this related to the stuff I read last week? What would happen if… This is just like what happened to my friend last year!” and on, and on… (There is a medical problem called “restless legs syndrome”. I sometimes think I should be diagnosed with “restless brain”.)

If I just leave these thoughts tumbling around in my brain, they eventually get pushed away by new input. Some part of them will linger, ready to connect to anything related that comes along. And that’s not bad, my brain does a wonderful job if connecting stuff.

But if I take the time to finish the thoughts, to think them through… That’s when the vague ideas become a part of me, become knowledge. In order to do that, I need to work with them, process them. A great way to do that is to talk to someone about it – but unfortunately, I don’t always have anyone to talk them through with. Mr L is a wonderful man, the love of my life, but we are more like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle than two peas in a pod. He doesn’t like theory and what ifs as I do (but if there is a practical application in there, he is great at helping me make it real). Some of my friends appreciate theories, but they have other stuff to think about as well (like the ideas tumbling in their own minds).

Luckily, there is writing. I’ve always been a writer as well as a reader. Mostly I write for my own benefit, in my diary. Trying ideas out, testing them to see if they fit me and my life, or merging them with other until they do.

And sometimes I come up with something that feels like it could be if use to others. And that’s where the blogging entered my life, I guess. In the last few years, more and more of the new input I find comes from bloggers rather than books. And so why not create a blog to share my own thoughts, maybe they can get someone else’s mind spinning?

Once I decided to start a blog I read a lot (of course) about “how to build your blog”. Some of the advice I adopted was “post regularly”. I decided on posting twice a week – restless mind equals a lot of thoughts, so no problem in finding subjects to write about, I reasoned. And that’s true – but I didn’t really take into account the time it takes to write a post. Not surprisingly, since that’s part of why I repeatedly have had burnout-episodes – the inability to accept that things take time and energy. Even fun things! When my energy is low, the pressure of posting regularly became to much. And so when I hit the wall again in February 2017 I also hit the paus button for the blog.

But then again: I have no plans of making money by blogging here, so I don’t need to have a lot of followers. I appreciate a like and a follower, it’s nice to know that someone actually found something interesting in my ramblings!  But since I myself tend to follow and unfollow people all the time as my interests shift, I don’t mind if someone does the same here. There are so many people writing blogs, and saying interesting things, that it’s impossible to keep up with everyone. (Not to mention all the things to do in real life, away from the net…)

Another piece of common advice is to build a community around the blog. But… As much as I like to know that you are reading what I write, I don’t have an active comments field. The reason is time, again. If I would have a comments field, I would want to be a good host and answer any posts. But that would require time. Time that would reduce the time I have for my real life friends, for Mr L, for living the simple life I’m striving for… So no comment field. (If you really want to reach me, you can use the contact page. I promise to answer!  Just be prepared for a possible wait – I don’t check that very often either.)

So then why do I want to keep the blog?

When I write a post, I also clarify things for myself. I could – and still do – write just for myself, privately. But I do want to share my thoughts with you. It’s a different kind of joy, and I want that in my life.

Also it gives me a place to show some of all the photos I take.  (I realised the other day that I by accident used the same pictures again for the last posts. My first impulse was to switch them immediately for new ones… But then I remembered that it’s ok to be imperfect, so I decided to leave them. I did device a new system for keeping track of which pic’s I’ve already used though, since it’s ok to learn from mistakes… And I have a lot of pictures, no need to repeat them.)

I will be posting here again, every once in a while. Whenever I feel that I have something to say, and time to write it down. Just not on a set schedule.

I’ll also be paying WordPress the yearly fee so that you won’t have to suffer any ads here – my new years gift to you. And to me – by paying the fee I am giving myself the gift of thinking of this as something worth spending money on. Something valuable. (Hey, that’s an interesting thought! What if I were to think about the way I spend money in another way? I may have to get back to you on that…)