If you ask 10 people who the most important person in their life is, the answers will vary. My partner, my child, my mother, my friend… But one answer you’ll seldom get is: I am the most important person in my life.
And still that is, or should be, the correct answer I think. I know, it sounds terribly egoistic… But it’s actually not. I’m not saying you shouldn’t care for other people – I’m just saying you should care for yourself first. You know the second commandment? It exists in similar versions in most religions: “Love your neighbor as yourself”. It’s very easy to focus on the first part: love your neighbour. To care for others is important, and our society wouldn’t work if we didn’t – we’re social beings. But thats not the full sentence. The “as yourself” is just as important.
Do you treat yourself as you would your best friend? With understanding, with support. Do you care for yourself as you would do for your child? Trying to make sure you all they need to evolve and be healthy. And do you show love for yourself as you would do for your partner? Trying to make your existance easier, showing your appreciation with the little things you do for yourself every day.
You should. Because if you’re going to love them as you love yourself, you need to love yourself first. And the more love you can find for yourself, the more you’ll have to give to others.
If it still sounds egoistic, think about it this way: you are much better at giving love, attention and care for others if you are feeling good. And you can give a lot longer if you take the time to give your body and soul what they need – to eat, to move, to have fun, to learn, to rest.
Or else you can do what I did and just keep on giving to others (at work above all) until there’s nothing left. And then be forced to take the time to heal from the time you could have been loving and supporting the people around you. A very long time… I sincerely recommend that you give yourself that time in bits and peaces every day instead. That’s what I’m trying to do now, and that’s what this blog is about – my search for that balance, in different ways.